Sev Necati worked in
partnership with Ealing, and the Mayor’s Office for Policing and Crime, to
deliver our award winning project “Women & Young People’s Safety Solution.”
We delivered four successful
courses and this is how our third course changed lives!
Our course’s
work specifically with women and girls from multiple complex backgrounds, from
all faiths, backgrounds, ethnicitie's and communities.
We teach them how to keep safe and empower
them to make positive choices. The
training is a way of inspiring young girls and women to understand their self-worth
and build confidence levels. Improvement
in fitness levels, as well as overall mental and emotional health is achieved,
through our holistic approach.
Our courses
are all-inclusive regardless of age, ability or background, bringing women and
girls all under one setting to reduce isolation, violence towards women and
girls, coercion, grooming, exploitation and overall fears around abuse and
criminal activity.
The
Participant - Case Study - One
Charlie,
18, White British, single.
Please
tell us why you became involved in the project/activities?
I became involved in the course because I
wanted to feel safer, and know what to do to defend myself. I was also in a relationship which was
abusive, I felt he took everything from me, and I wanted to do something for
myself he couldn’t take, I loved him so much.
And I didn’t want to be in an abusive relationship, I knew that this
course would give me the push, to give me more confidence and to make me feel
that I am good enough in my own skin. My
friends had highly recommended the course to me, as they had been lucky enough
to do one with you.
The boy I was dating we went to the same
school. When I would go to parties, when
he was not invited, as we didn’t have the same group of friends, he would ask
me to send him pictures of what I was wearing then he use to start arguing with
me about what I was wearing and ask me to change. He would forever have a go at me about the
length of my school skirt, and pull it down and tease me. If I use to go on holidays with my friends he
didn’t want me to take care of myself e.g. getting my legs waxed, he questioned
me about these things, why I was doing them and accuse me of wanting to meet
other boys, he didn’t allow me to be myself, I knew that it wasn’t meant to do
this, as it didn’t feel right.
I felt shitty and sometimes thought he
cared. He would say I needed my
reputation protecting, which I didn’t need it to be, but that is how he made me
feel, like I was doing something wrong.
He made me feel that I was lucky to be with him and if I had a problem
with something he was doing I was the one who always ended up apologising for
things, he was very manipulative, I felt like a shell at the end of the
relationship, I stopped socialising with my friends, and when we broke up all
my friends said that I was completely a different person when I was with
him. I had to answer the phone when he
contacted me straight away otherwise he would get cross with me, he used to say
he would marry me and have my children, and look after me, I realised he didn’t
really want too and was just saying those things, so your course helped me to
make a decision and I got out.
Please
tell us how participating has helped you?
The main thing’s the sessions have helped me,
obviously the physical side was really helpful, however the mental side I was
really lacking, my mental health wasn’t the best. I had to have counselling, I felt I wasn’t
good enough, so the affirmations and mental stuff that we did, really helped
me, learning to love myself and filling in the pieces myself, instead of
looking for others to love me, learning to love myself, was really powerful
stuff. It made me feel like I could
rebuilt my confidence that I already had before. I really felt that I was really confident but
I realised I wasn’t, I thought I would
never could rebuilt my confidence and I realised that I could without approval
from him or someone else.
The physically side helped me with my anger. I always felt really good after the physical
activities, it helped me release those emotions that I was keeping in and made
me feel fresher and lighter.
Please
tell us what has changed for you as a result of engaging with the project?
What has changed for me is the main thing I
am very aware of my surroundings, I thought I was street wise before, but doing
your course I was not, I was doing things I should not have been, like using my
phone, I am checking where my exist points are now if I were ever to be in
danger, for example if I am out and about.
It has also made me feel confident to
challenge anyone if I had too, like people I didn’t know. I was really timid and shy before. I now know how to control and speak up for
myself and not been seen as aggressive, if I challenge them if I feel
uncomfortable or I don’t agree with, their behaviour towards me.
You and the
course have made me realise that I am good enough the way I am in myself and
you gave me the power to end that relationship so I could better myself and be
able to feel free again.
You have given
me so much more self confidence that I thought I was never going to be able to
regain again and you gave me the power and strength that I needed to remove
myself from that toxic relationship. You made me feel as though I am good
enough and I am strong and that’s exactly what I needed.
Some of the Females
Comments
"Thank you Sev, you
are amazing!"
"I liked Sev's direct,
no nonsense attitude & believe this intervention should be compulsory for
all girls & women! Thank you Sev!"
"All the techniques
were really useful."
"I learned a lot on
how to keep myself & others safe."
"The whole course was
amazing!"
"I feel far more
physically confident & able than I did before I had this training."
"Learning the strikes
was excellent!"
"We learn't so much,
so quickly."
"I am stronger, more
positive & capable."
"Being physically
active & understanding what it feels like to be under threat or under
attack"
"This was invaluable
& really increased my understanding - mentally & physically."
"Building self-esteem
& confidence helps us feel & be stronger."
"I enjoyed learning new techniques to use
to protect myself, especially the floor work."
"I really enjoyed the
course, Sev's training style & the group members."
"I liked that over the
course everyone was extremely nice, it was a relaxed environment, supportive,
accepting, non-judgmental."
"Sev's direct approach
helped me to understand & appreciate how important the course was."
"Physical training was
very useful & confidence boosting."
"Learning to be more
confident asserting my own opinions & rights."
"I have become more
confident around others."
"The physical &
emotional confidence was empowering."
"Sev's such a
character & her generosity & openness are inspiring! Thank you!"
"We were free to ask
questions & contribute to the discussions."
"Good advice
given."
"Sev's approach &
practical skills taught were very energising."
"I thought Sev is an
amazing instructor, who says it how it is, & doesn't sugar coat
things."
"Sev is strong &
funny!"
"Now that I took part,
I feel much safer if I'm out with my friend or by myself. I know what to
say."
"The activities has
improved my fitness but were also fun!"
"Working with the
ladies, & meeting people that I would not have met otherwise."
"The atmosphere in the
class & confidence of Sev, really inspired me!"
"The improvement in
each individuals confidence over the weeks, stood out."
"My self-confidence
& self-esteem increased. We are all women, we are all beautiful, no matter
what."
"Practical was great!
Sev made sure everyone gave the best in doing different techniques."
"What stood out, was
our different lives, backgrounds, religions etc., but we were all together
& all got confident together."
"Sev gave everyone the
positivity to speak, even with different abilities/backgrounds."
"The confidence of Sev
- the Trainer, she was able to pass this confidence to others, help women to
open up & talk through difficult situations."
"I enjoyed meeting
different types of people from all walks of life & learning these
techniques as a collective."
"I have become more
confident about protecting myself."
"Sev made me feel more
confident & empowered, that has helped me to feel better about myself &
less self-conscious."
"I enjoyed the
physical side of the course, especially the floor work, it was realistic."
"Made me feel more at
ease that my daughter did the course with me, as she is going to University
soon."
"It has made me feel
more confident that I would be able to defend myself if a situation ever came
about."
"I'm more confident in
being assertive when it is necessary"
"Sev inspired me to
let my daughter make her own decisions & feel more confident in her when
she is out & about."
All names
of participants have been changed to protect their identity.
If you are looking for sessions, courses, workshops, projects and
programmes that are both engaging, interactive and fun, but also informative
and educational then please contact us at:
info@sevnecatitraining.com
If you think that you would like to get involved in our projects then
please get in contact. Our aim is to
reduce violence and the fear of violence especially towards females and young
people and we do this by delivering empowering and inspiring projects to the
local community. Please contact us: info@sevnecatitraining.com
